OctoberNovDec1998 Newsletter

The 1998 NCFC annual convention was held at the Westin Hotel in Detroit, Michigan. The convention was held from October 16th through the 18th. The convention was a resounding success. Attendees came from across the country and Canada to attend and contribute to the presentations.
There were presentations by Dr. Richard Gardner on "Parental Alienation", "Differentiating between Parental Alienation Syndrome and Bona Fide Abuse", and "The sex abuse accusation as a spin off of the Parental Alienation Syndrome". Douglas Darnall, Ph.D. gave a presentation on "Protecting your Children From Parental Alienation". Phillip Holman, Esq., President of NCFC, gave a presentation on "Without Fathers Children Fall". The Honorable Judge Edward Sosnick, gave a presentation titled the "Smile Program" for Paternity Cases. Napoleon Quick, Jr. M.A., L.P.C. discussed "Responsible Fatherhood". The Honorable Judge Richard B. Halloran, Jr. presented a discussion about "Personal Protection Orders & Domestic Violence". Travis Ballard J.D. and Vice President of NCFC discussed "The Paternity Trap – Due Process & Discrimination". Mark Bryan, author of "The Prodigal Father" addressed uniting absent fathers with their children. Kay Schwarzberg, Esq., a Michigan family law attorney, discussed "Bonding in Child Custody Cases". Ms. Schwarzberg gave full support to presumptive joint custody and emphasized that most family law attorneys would object to it because it would take away some of their business. Jeffery Leving, Esq., a well known Chicago area family law attorney discussed his book, "The Father Custody Case". James Cook, Executive Director of NCFC and President of the Joint Custody Association reviewed a "Joint Custody Update". Robert Hirschfeld, J.D., a founding member of NCFC and an active board member of NCFC discussed the "Power and Pitfalls of Federal Courts". Steven Nowicki, of Fathers for Equal Rights, gave a talk about "Keys to Successful Self Representation In Court".
There was also a private session that was restricted to judges and employees of the Friend of the Court and Family Independence Agency that was moderated by the Honorable Judge Edward Sosnick, the Honorable Richard B. Halloran, Jr. and Kim Bateman, Wayne County Friend of the Court.
Special programs were presented by Warren Farrell, Ph.D. and Ken Canfield. Dr. Warren Farrell is the author of two award-winning international best-sellers, The Myth of Male Power plus Why Men Are The Way They Are. His first book, The Liberated Man, is still selling well after 20 years. Dr. Farrell listens to both sexes. He is the only man in the U.S. to ever have been elected three times to the Board of Directors of the National Organization for Women (N.O.W.) in New York City; he has also served on the boards of 3 national men's organizations. He is the only person selected to speak at both Governor Wilson's Conference on Men and Governor Wilson's Conference on Women in 1995. The Chicago Tribune described Warren as "the Gloria Steinem of Men's Liberation." Dr. Farrell has taught at the School of Medicine at the University of California in San Diego, as well as at Georgetown University, Rutgers, Brooklyn College, American University, and the California School of Professional Psychology. During Dr. Farrell’s discussion, he shared some of his latest research findings with the group:
· Children raised by single father families do better in school, have more empathy for the people of their lives, and experience less conflict with their mothers.
· Mothers with sole custody will experience legal conflicts with the biological father of the children nine times more than single fathers do with the biological mothers.
· The court’s view of ‘best interest of the child’ is primarily focussed on present material needs as opposed to overall physical and mental well being.
Dr. Canfield is founder and president of the Kansas City-based National Center for Fathering. He is author of The 7 Secrets of Effective Fathers, The Heart of a Father, and is a regular speaker at Promise Keepers Men's Conferences. Ken is widely regarded as one of America's foremost father-equipping authorities. Dr. Canfiled discussed his latest book, The 7 Secrets of Effective Fathers utilizing dynamic research and scripturally based resources that will help you take positive steps in your effective fathering journey.
There was also a Youth Session designed for teenage boys and young single fathers. Kevin Roberts, Napoleon Quick and Kay Schwarzberg lead the afternoon’s events for the young fathers.
Al Lebow, a long time father’s rights activist and legislative reform educator was inducted into the "Fathers' Rights Hall of Fame". Congratulations Al and thank you for all of your leadership and efforts.
One of the highlights came as an NCFC member and his parents received the joyous news that his two children who had been kidnaped by the mother, were found in Atlanta, Georgia. The Michigan courts had awarded the father custody of the children after the mother had kidnaped the children once before. The mother fled with the children again, this past summer after the courts had reversed custody and awarded the children to the father.
Atlanta, Georgia, isn’t that where Fay Yeager lives? As you will well remember, Ms. Yeager has created an underground hideaway system for mothers to hide the children from the court and their fathers. Coincidence?

Please plan to attend the 1999 NCFC convention. It will be held in Pittsburgh, PA.
Go to: NCFC National Convention entry form.

LEGISLATIVE UPDATE
Democratic Pennsylvania House Representative Mike Veon and Republican Pennsylvania Senator James Gerlach have each submitted presumptive joint custody bills in the Pennsylvania legislature. The house bill is HB 1723 and the senate bill is SB 1489.
Both bills propose to change the definition from shared custody to joint custody. This will put Pennsylvania’s definition more in line with other states and joint custody is a stronger legal term to imply equal co-parenting of the children.
Both bills require the court to state on the record why joint custody is not in the best interests of the children if the court denies joint custody. This is a positive for children and parents because the courts generally do not like to put their opinions on the record unless they are required to do so.
Both bills require the parents to submit parenting plans. SB 1489 is stronger in this area. According to the bill’s language, the parent that is more likely to encourage, permit, and allow continuing contact and physical access between the non-custodial parent and the child, as evidenced by the submitted plan, that parent’s plan shall be considered.
Both bills consider factors such as documented child abuse, certain criminal convictions and other violent behaviors to affect the decision of the court relative to custody plans.
The Senate bill gives stronger consideration to the wishes of the children in deciding parenting arrangements and geographical location of each parent.
Neither bill mandates 50/50 joint physical custody.
Representative Mike Veon has said that he will rewrite HB 1723 so that it conforms with SB 1489. Once this happens, then identical presumptive joint bills will be in both houses of Pennsylvania’s legislature and both parties will have sponsored the bills. Please write or call your state senator and representative to support this bill.
Please remember to include a copy of your letter to your local state senator or representative and send us one for our files.
The next hearings will be scheduled in Pittsburgh and Philadelphia. Please call Brian Preski with the House Judicial Committee for exact times. Brian can be reached at 717-772-6946.
If you can schedule an appointment with your representative to review the importance of this bill and to voice your concern, please call our chapter office to schedule a board member or other NCFC member to attend with you. You can also submit written testimony as the why presumptive joint custody should be enacted in Pennsylvania. Send ten (10) copies of your statement to:

Brian Preski
House Judiciary Committee
P.O. Box 202020
Harrisburg, PA 17020

Please remember to include a copy of your letter to your local state representative and send us one for our files.

Changes for the Standards for Professional Conduct
The Academy of Trial Lawyers of Allegheny County has proposed a set of 'Standards for Professional Conduct' for judges, lawyers and the court. These guidelines for professionalism appear to have majority support by the Court of Common Pleas of Allegheny County and the U.S. District Court for the Western District of Pennsylvania.
These guidelines were four years in the making from a committee of judges, lawyers, law school professors and the Allegheny and the Federal Bar Associations. These guidelines are aspirational in nature and will become a standard for which conduct deviations will be measured.
Here is a section of the preamble that pertains to judges:
"A Judge's conduct toward all participants in the legal process should be characterized at all times by courtesy, fairness, and patience. As judges, we owe respect, diligence, punctuality, and protection against unjust and improper criticism or attack to all participants in legal proceedings."
I wonder how Judge Baer's comparison of one recent litigant in his courtroom to Monica Lewinsky stands up to this standard? I wonder how Judge Baer's routine tardiness of one hour, two hour lunches, and stopping trials before the scheduled time limits stands up to this standard? We shall see if these guidelines are real or just more smoke and mirrors.

ADVOCACY GOALS
The National Congress for Fathers and Children is a coalition of organizations and individuals who support fathers’ rights, men's rights, and divorce reform in North America. We seek to advocate and with one voice to encourage:
° Public support for the vital role of fathers in the growth and development of their children
° Joint/shared custody
° Equality in child custody litigation
° Enforcement of children's rights of access to both parents
° Equitable financial child support guidelines, orders, and enforcement
° Affirmation of men's rights to choose traditional or contemporary masculine roles in life, family and society
° Equality of men and women free from discrimination and gender bias
° Greater accessibility and fairness in courts and other forums for dispute resolution

United Way Check Off Code Number for NCFC
It is that time of year again when the United Way will make donation drives at your place of employment. The Greater Pittsburgh Chapter of National Congress for Fathers and Children’s Donation Code Number is 9614. Remember this number when your company is seeking United Way donations or send your contribution directly to the United way of Allegheny County and use the 9614 donation code. Thank you for your generosity.

PITTSBURGH CHAPTER MEETINGS
Our chapter educational meetings are open to the public. There is no fee to attend and you do not have to be a member to attend. When are our meetings? It is easy to remember. Our meetings are always the second Saturday of every month from 10 a.m. til noon.

Location: Bethel Park Municipal Building
5100 Library Road
Time: 10:00 a.m. - 12:00 p.m.
Parking: Free
Directions: Take Route 51 South to Route 88. Turn right to BRIGHTWOOD. Turn right on Brightwood to Library Avenue. The Municipal Building is just across the Trolley Tracks.
Upcoming Educational Meetings
October 10, 1998 ; November candidates and voting pro family
November 14, 1998 ; Chapter Board of Director Elections. All current active members are eligible to vote for the next year open seats for the Board of Directors. An Open Forum will follow.
December 12, 1998 ; Holiday Custody Problems
Recent Meetings
The July meeting featured Alberta Mattingley. Alberta led the group discussion by allowing the audience to share their experiences and frustration with the present system of support, custody and false allegations. The group discussed how we can become more vocal and how to make the public more aware of the industry that the judges and lawyers have created. Legislative change was the common solution. This change can only come from many active people, something that is lacking so far to date.
The August meeting featured Kevin discussing equitable distribution strategies. He made up an example asset and debt spreadsheet, system procedures, negotiating strategies, and probable outcomes given certain circumstances. The asset/debt example was based upon the example presented by Tom G. Eddy, Esq. in a recent case.
Kevin lead the attendee’s with updates on the 1998 and 1999 conventions, the November elections, and discussed Pennsylvania’s present support system at the September meeting. One of the members in attendance shared with us his horror story with the court system as it pertains to false allegations of abuse, parental alienation by the mother, the personal financial ruin that the Pennsylvania family court system encourages, and the additional struggle some dads have to deal with when there is a long distance separating him from his children. His story is even more tragic as one of his children committed suicide during this court battle.

SERVICE FOR MEMBERS
We offer our members a service to help them understand custody issues. If you are in the Generations program, call the office prior to your 2-hour mediation session. We will meet with you and walk you through the custody issues that will be raised in the mediation. This service, like all others is available to all members, male or female. Call the office (854-4799) for an appointment.
Pro Se Help
Help in understanding Pro Se motions is available on most Tuesdays from 6-11:00 P.M.. Topics such as custody, visitation, support, equitable distribution, divorce, discovery and appeals can be reviewed. We have to restrict this service to members but you can join when you come in. Call the office (854-4799) for an appointment.

Chapter News
THANKS FOR A JOB WELL DONE
Alberta Mattingley, the Greater Pittsburgh Chapter of National Congress for Fathers and Children Vice President, recently resigned from her position. We will miss her and wish her the very best in all of her future endeavors.
Congratulations Alberta for a job well done!

REASONS TO OPPOSE JOINT CUSTODY
Some people’s ‘reasoning’ to oppose joint custody in favor of sole custody:
Probably the most common excuses or reasons used to deny joint custody are the myth that ‘joint custody bounces the kids around’ and that because the parents supposedly cannot cooperate, there cannot be joint custody.
First let us discuss the frequency of exchanges question. Attorneys who have testified against joint custody have used reasons such as ‘the kids will have to have two toothbrushes’, ‘the children will have to have two pillows’ and the ‘kids won’t know where their tennis shoes are’. (Amazing reasons to deny the children one of their parent’s involvement when it is proven that children need two involved parents) When in reality, even with partial custody, the kids still have two toothbrushes, two pillows and misplace their tennis shoes. The industry’s real reason to not want joint custody is directly related to a potential loss of business on the litigation of custody.
Now let us talk about the number of exchanges or ‘bouncing around’. If frequent exchanges are bad for the children, then, the greater amount of exchanges is not in the best interest of the children. According to Judge Baer, Administrative Judge of Allegheny County Family Division, ‘liberal visitation’ for the children to be with their non-custodial parent, is defined as four and half days per month, or every other weekend and one night during the week for two and half hours. This equates to 12 to 14 exchanges of the children between parents per month. With a one week with mom and one week with dad parenting plan, there are 4 or 5 exchanges per month. The alternate week parenting plan thus provides one third the amount of exchanges or 67% less disruption as opposed to Judge Baer’s ‘liberal visitation’.
What about the non-cooperation question as it relates to joint custody? First let’s review the ‘Baer Bind’ principal. Jim Carmine, a member of our Board of Directors came up with a good acronym for the way Allegheny County Family Court handles custody complaints. Jim has labeled this phenomenon the "Baer Bind" in honor of the Administrative Judge Max Baer. Jim’s association with the name "Baer Bind" with Judge Baer comes from public statements made by Judge Baer and by Judge Baer’s own decisions. The "Baer Bind" is an old-fashioned Catch-22 that destroys children and parents. If a parent, usually the father, legally requests shared custody of his children, the father will be denied shared custody because the fact that he filed for shared custody indicates to the court that he cannot cooperate with the other parent, usually the mother. However, if the father does not legally request shared custody of his children, then he too, will be denied shared custody because he did not ask for shared custody.
According to Pennsylvania’s custody policy, it is incumbent upon the court to determine non-cooperation fault when one parent is not cooperating. However, the Pennsylvania judges are not following the custody policy of this Commonwealth. The judges have instead taken the ‘easy’ way out by labeling BOTH parents uncooperative when the custody issue is forced to be decided by a judge. The result is the judges reward the custodial parent to not cooperate by denying the non-custodial parent shared custody.
In the present system of custody determinations, the court expects the parents to not cooperate and the judges usually order custody to one parent and partial custody to the other parent. The result is the court system and the families get just that; non-cooperation between parents. Included in that result of non-cooperation are intense, expensive and drawn out litigations for custody where one parent wins and one parent loses. The children become collateral damage.
Why not expect parents to cooperate and reward those that do cooperate? After all, that is what Title 23, Chapter 5303 of Pennsylvania’s General Policy for Custody Determination dictates. The parent most willing to provide continuing contact between the child and the non-custodial parent is the parent who should have custody and that both parents have a right to the responsibilities of child rearing.
Joint custody, therefore, more closely follows the present statutes of Pennsylvania than what the courts and judges are ordering today. Contact your local state representative and state senator and tell them that you support HB 1723 and SB 1489 and that you want them to vote for the passage of presumptive joint custody in Pennsylvania. It is in the best interest of the children.

Harry F. Smail, Jr.
Attorney at Law
A complete general practice. Divorce, support and custody matters (a true Father’s Rights Advocate) Also, wills/estates/trusts, criminal matters, contracts, business planning, incorporations, real estate.
Phone (724-836-2040) Fax (724-836-2041)

WE NEED YOU!
We need volunteers to help specifically in the following areas:
· 1999 National NCFC Convention committee members to help plan and prepare for the 1999 convention in Pittsburgh
· Newsletter editor to write and format our quarterly newsletter and to seek advertising space
· Newsletter mailing person to attach the labels, stamps, sorting the quarterly newsletters
· Answer telephone calls at your home from desperate and interested people
· A grant writing person to submit grant proposals to foundations and community groups
· Press release person to notify the press and the public about our upcoming activities
In addition, our NCFC chapter’s board of directors election will be at this November’s educational meeting at the Bethel Park Municipality Building from 10:00 a.m. until noon. If you are a current member of NCFC and would like to be considered for a position on our board of directors for a two year term, please call Kevin at 854-4799. The board meets every month for a two hour meeting. The chapter officers are elected from the board members at the November board meeting. If you are interested in affecting change and helping others, please consider running for a seat on our board of directors.
Please call Kevin at 854-4799 to volunteer your services or if you have any questions about any of the above positions.

1999 NCFC National Convention Coming to Pittsburgh
Please register early for the 1999 NCFC National Convention to be held at:

Holiday Inn Central/Green Tree
401 Holiday Drive
Pittsburgh, PA 15220
(412) 922-8100

The 19th annual national convention of the National Congress for Fathers and Children will be held in Pittsburgh from September 23rd to the 25th, 1999. To ensure that the convention is a success we are soliciting early registrations from individuals, as well as corporate and individual sponsors.
Local Supporting Organizations include:
NCFC, NCFC's Pittsburgh Chapter.
Go to: NCFC National Convention entry form.

OTHER SUPPORTIVE GROUPS
· Florida’s Chapter of NCFC 1-888-SEE-DADS
· Citizen’s for Family Unity; Dave Henry 344-2352
· The Coalition for Fathering Families; Larry Davis 731-4639
· ACES; Association for Children for the Enforcement of Support 761-9510
· National NCFC Membership; 1-800-SEE-DADS

FALSE ALLEGATIONS AND PFA’S ARE USED TO GAIN CUSTODY ADVANTAGE IN COURT
The head of a federal committee examining Canada's child custody laws says some women falsely accuse their spouses of abusing their children in order to get custody in divorce proceedings. Well, this is also happening in Pennsylvania and Allegheny County.
To bolster their claims of allegedly abusive husbands, some women take refuge in women's shelters. Is the fact that a person spent a night in a shelter mean that person was abused or battered? Should not there be valid and reliable evidence that abuse has occurred? Is the husband a witch and he must be burned at the stake? Is this a reenactment of the Salem witch trials? Or are some shelters creating a problem that is larger than it really is?
Today, a mother desiring a divorce (70% of divorces are filed by the women) can obtain a PFA (Protection from Abuse Order) based entirely on her perception of her relationship with her husband. Some family law lawyers and employees of these shelters know how to ‘spin a tale’ to make the abuse accusation sound convincing. These tales of pain and torture then become part of a court order, or PFA. Custody of the children becomes a part of this order. The Allegheny County Generations Program is bypassed. The result is the status quo of custody now becomes established and the burden of proof to change custody is placed upon the other party. And what a burden it becomes. The average cost of a custody litigation, even if the abuse allegations are unfounded or dropped, is $25,000, one and half to two years duration, and the lost time with the children being with one parent.
The false allegations made, usually by the mother, and the PFA filed, becomes a win-win situation for the mother. Not only has she seen her ex be humiliated by the system, but she has forced him to pay large legal fees, seeing him lose his relationship with his children, she has gained custody of the children and the accompanying 18 years of tax free income and she will not be punished. The courts will not sanction her for false testimony, on the contrary, she is rewarded with the support monies.
However, the children are the bigger losers and the mother, lawyers, judges and shelter employees are oblivious to their interests. The children lose one parent, they live the conflict that litigation creates, they question the truth that the false allegations raise and they lose the financial resources that are poured down into the domestic relations storm sewer.
I want to clarify NCFC’s position that domestic violence is terrible. People who live in a truly abusive relationship need help, their children need a safe and loving home and the abuser needs help, too. However, in many instances and situations that I have seen and experienced, the term ‘abuse’ has been abused.
This is why a presumption of joint custody is so important to parents, children and the court system. If there was truly abuse, then the documentation and verification could be obtained. Otherwise, both parents would be treated as parents and not one as a guardian and one as a visitor.

MEMBERSHIP APPLICATION
Name_______________________________________
Occupation___________________________________
Address______________________________________
____________________________________________
Phone Home: (___) _____________________________
Work:(___)___________________________________
Email address: _________________________________
# and ages of children____________________________
Present Spouse (if any)___________________________
Spouse's Occupation____________________________
Would you be willing to help us with your time and talents? Yes or No If yes, what area would you like to help?________________________________________
Today's date __________________

1 Year New Membership (Single $85; Family $95*) $__________
1 Year Renewed Membership (Single $50; Family $70) $_______
Life Time Membership (Single/Family $500) $________________
"Kids Need Fathers, Not Visitors" Bumper Stickers
$2 ea. $_____________
Chapter Donation ( ) $25 ( ) $50 ( ) $100
Donation for Jim Cook's travel expenses for HB 1723 $________
TOTAL $_____________

MC or VISA. Card No. __________________ Exp. date_______
Signature _________________________________________
* Family Membership covers second spouses, significant others, & grandparents.

Send to: National Congress for Fathers and Children
37 Seneca Road
Pittsburgh, Pa. 15241

MEMBERSHIP INFO:
Please call 412-854-4799 or use the application on this page or call 1-800-SEE-DADS.
A 140 page national manual and sections of Pennsylvania's custody statutes is included in a membership package. You also become another voice for equality in family courts. Membership is tax-deductible.

Current Volunteer Officers of NCFC/Greater Pittsburgh Chapter
President Kevin Sheahen (412)854-4799
V. P.   (Position Vacant)
Treasurer Doug Jones
Secretary   (Position Vacant)
Current Board of Directors of NCFC
Jim Carmine Ph.D.   Marc Peters
Brad Fish   Tim Santimyer
John Gorman Kevin Sheahen
Doug Jones    Harry Smail
Michael Nieland, MD
Altoona Division (814) 944-5879
Volunteer Staff
Press Information Kevin Sheahen
Newsletter Editor    Kevin Sheahen
NCFC Legal Advisor Tom G. Eddy, Esq.

THE BEST PARENT IS BOTH PARENTS!

Greater Pittsburgh Chapter
National Congress for Fathers & Children
37 Seneca Road
Pittsburgh, PA 15241