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How To Collect Brownie Points - FREE!!
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Part A:  The Truth is Out There - Keep Searching

To all fruitcakes and eggheads, as wannabe specialists (who need fame and prominence) ...  the truth is out there (somewhere).  Therefore, keep looking for those elusive, lost and perished "originals"!  Yes, never give up!  It is all bound to come together one day.

In the meantime, a few crazy people actually think the truth is found in a book they can hold in their hands and read from, from the front to back cover that is, in the here and now, would you believe?  As if the word of God has been miraculously kept and preserved from yesteryear and forever, and is readily available in one book, for the common man.  Oh, the audacity of it all!

For those who have a special call in being "the final authority" (yes, I know YOU deserve it) on the next page you will find your very own  open-ended Bible.  It was sure to turn up one day (based on the very original, autographed, various scattered and ransacked bits and pieces of manuscripts, hidden away or discarded in caves, crevices, monasteries, refuge tips, ancient ruins, the archives in run-down libraries, and the basements of modern museums) being finally discovered, scraped and accumulated together, deciphered, collated, and marketed at long last. To help fill in those blank spaces and missing links in the interim, of course.

Find out now, how this latest trend-set Bible has been compiled by the very best of our highly trained and clever professionals, at the pinnacle of our very advanced and technological era, by clicking on the image to the right (you will feel inflated, adulated, venerated, and exonerated).

Why allow your Bible to correct you when YOU can correct it, and be applauded in the process?  At the same time as being reverenced, looked-up to, and paid for doing so!  After all, this is what being an expert is all about is it not?

Next ...  your belated medal for acheivement and success.  Yours to grab then blab!  Remember ... the slack hold back!  But YOU are worth it!:

Part B:  A Badge - Or A Chest To Pin It On?
(why not have both?)

Here's another SPECIAL ANNOUNCEMENT: Especially displayed for those who think they are called with a unique call of rebuke, correction, discernment, or title! Please let me know by emailing your request to lookoutchurch@prophets4profit.pride and I will send YOU your very own name/title tag to printout and pin on your chest.  This is to show people how really important and spiritual YOU are (why risk being overlooked?).

Please let me know if you prefer "ENDTIME PROPHET" or "WATCHMAN FOR THIS DAY AND AGE" or "THE APOSTLE OF THE MOST HIGH" or "DISCERNMENT SPECIALIST" or "RICH, FAMOUS & SENT" or "CHOSEN KNOW-IT-ALL".  And of course "FINAL AUTHORITY - THE BUCK STOPS WITH ME"!  Or whatever sounds better or makes your wheels smoke, as I can tailor-make it to impress.  Or customize it to suit your ego and piety. Or (you got it!) ...  both!

However, please don't order "PASTOR" or "REVEREND" as I am well out of stock at the moment, and can never keep up with the demand.

In the meantime, here's another impressive badge for YOU to sample or flash around:
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"Imprtant Vapour"

Your very own badge (FREE)

-Valid in all denominations-


WARNING, it is a sign of being overly super-spiritual to wear more than one badge at once.

Return to "The Gospel For Dummies" 

Lastly, my acknowledgement (in the best way I can) to the late George Anderson of "Small Cords" (pre Hebraic Roots
days of course) for his sense of humour, creativity, inspiration and daring to speak out at a time when spirituality
was beginning to be so ever crazy, daft and silly.  What else can one do?  Either sob or laugh yourself silly!